lost love... 6:47 AM

i love you so much....

but those words aren't worth it...
if i can no longer have you...

please, give me another chance....
open your heart so i cud show you...
how much you mean to me...

i know, i am such a fool...
i had mistaken... yes... i admit....
but never had i forgotten...
or broke my promise....

my promises are still...
and i mean all those...

i really cant get over you...
from day and nyt....
you overrule my mind... my heart... and my soul...

ive kept myself busy....
but. toxicity never reigns over you...

i cant forget you...
and i dont want to...
pls, i really want you back...

can we start all over agen??

i love you so dearly....
i love you every minute of the day...

as ive told you before...
my life is worthless...
without you....

i love you so much..
i miss you....

I really have no idea.... 5:13 AM

This would be my first official post. But I have no idea what I'm going to put here. Oh crap!..........how will I start.. So let me just start with something I'm sure everyone can relate to...

"Life must go on...but hearts can't move on.."

Adrian and I were together for about 3 months. August 6, 2009 to October 31, 2009. We decided to part ways since he's not happy with me anymore and he said that he has fallen out of love.

Of course, I couldn't do anything about it since that was the way he feels about our relationship. I was so deeply in loved him (and still is).. I cried bucket of tears coz I can't even bear the thought of living without him, how much more actually doing it. The moment we got together, I started building my life around him. Looking back at those months that we were together, I was exponentially happy. He's my first boyfriend and I was so ready and I would love to spend each second of my life with him.. It never crossed my mind that he would fall out of love coz he tells me everyday how much he loves me and we made a promise that we'll always work things out. But it all came to an end.

On the evening of October 31st, I texted him and asked him if we could go out the next day. He told me that he wasn't sure if he could go out on All Saint's Day. The past few days I felt that he has no interest in seeing me unless I ask for it. So that night, I asked him when am I gonna see him again. He told me that he doesn't know and everything has changed now. Also, he said that he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore.

When he said this, it felt like time stood still. I chose my words carefully before I replied, thinking that he still wants to work it out too. But I couldn't deny the fact that there was coldness in the tone of his messages. And I already felt where this was going.

"WE" are coming to an END!

He said that he wasn't happy anymore. I love him soooo much, more than he'll ever know. So I have to accept it........I have to let him go and find his happiness...

It's been three months since we broke up..

but he's still the one I'm looking for..

the one who occupies my mind...there's no room left for thinking..

I must admit, he's still the one I love..

I don't why I can't seem to move on..

Maybe I just don't have enough distractions, or maybe I'm just really meant to remain in loved with someone who doesn't love me anymore..

I'd like to think that the reason behind this is because we're still gonna end up together.. maybe not now, but someday we will..

Maybe deep down inside, I'm still hoping that he would love me again.

Hope? 7:49 AM

"What we had was better than what Ronmark and I had. I was happier with you, than I was with him.."


--- Adrian Gonzales (my ex-boyfriend)

First. 6:44 AM

whew!
finally, I'm done with the layout.

I've been blogging previously but it's a mess so I decided to delete it.

I'm not really in the mood now to post my thoughts so I'll just keep them for next time.

I'm just hoping that this blog will be a productive outlet for my not-so-brilliant mind. LOL :))